Most of the advice out there is about getting the number, in fact even more than that, most is about the very first thing you say. However, how would you like to have a great conversation, get the number but never see the girl again for the date? A number is worthless afterall if it doesn’t convert. A 100 numbers of girls who don’t answer isn’t going to help you find a girlfriend.
A big thing in game is getting the number. However, a lot of guys tell me that they’re not sure what to do next once they’ve got it! So I’ll break it down for you and explain the right ways to game once you’ve got that number.
I’m going to lay out the ground rules. Of course, I used to break them all and caused a high number of flakes but now I present an alpha, high status position both in person and by text.
- Only one question mark per message
- Your message, unless canned, should be shorter than hers.
- Adopt a ‘Fire-and-forget’ strategy. Send your message and then do other things. If she messages back, take your time, and take at least as long as she does.
- When you write a message, leave it for 10, the come back and make sure you’ve not said anything embarrassing.
- If she asks you a question that requires a dull answer, e.g. ‘how are you?’ you don’t need to answer it. If she asks multiple questions, don’t answer them all.
- Don’t use ‘x’s or smileys, even if she does.
- Never send two in a row in 48 hours. If she doesn’t reply, wait 5 day before trying again.
- Don’t try and arrange a date on the first text. This is usually instant death.
Okay you want to convert your N-close into a date. It’s harder to get her interested over the phone so that’s why it’s crucial you’ve done the work when you met and got her interested.
First thing to do is to sense receptivity. Basically, how enthusiastic and excited is she to speak to you. If she’s keen then it’s on; after a couple of minutes chat you can probably set up a date. If she’s cold, try to warm her up by being interesting as possible. Tell a story, chat about cool stuff you’ve got going on and then end the call before she can. Don’t arrange a date then. Give it a few days and try again. Rinse and repeat until she is very receptive. She’ll actually think ‘who the hell is this cool guy who keeps calling me but hasn’t asked me out?’ and will want to be asked out.
If you get a voicemail, hang up and send a text.
Keep her guessing. You might plan to call her again in three days, but don’t be AFC and say ‘Okay, I’ll call you in 3 days’ just say ‘okay, chat to you soon’. The best time to call isn’t after you’ve been sitting in your bedroom for 3 hours planning every possible thing you could say, but when you’re on a high. Good times could be after a good day at work, on your way to a date, or after some good results gaming. Also it’s better to be on the way to somewhere and show you’ve got stuff going on. If you sense she’s about to wind up the call, tell her you’ve got to go before she can say it.
Phone game structure
- Once she’s receptive, this is sort of pattern you want to follow:
- Re-establish initial connection by referring to something unique you remember about your previous interactions. For example, if she was going to theatre, saying ‘so, how was Shakespeare?’ builds comfort by showing you’ve taken an interest in her.
- Get her into a positive state. Have more energy than she does and get her comfortable and relaxed.
- Figure out what she’s doing next week.
- Suggest something you can do together, the more specific the better. For example ‘hey, you said you like art too, did you hear about the new …?’
- Arrange the logistics and then chat to her for a bit afterwards. Then it doesn’t look just like you rang just to plan the date, which of course, you did.
Follow what I’ve set out here and you’ll suddenly find you’re getting much better responses than you ever did before.